


Finding a Legacy

by itbepansam



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Late Night Conversations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-27 13:14:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17767448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbepansam/pseuds/itbepansam
Summary: The night before attacking Trent Ikathon, Caleb keeps watch and contemplates how to go into the city alone. Caduceus tries to talk him out of it.





	Finding a Legacy

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first cr fic. I'm not caught up all the way but I love this series so much that I wanted to write a little thing. hope you enjoy!!

The only sounds that could be heard were the crackling of the fire, the faint whispers of wind as it passed through their hut and the faint tapping of Caleb’s hand on his thigh. He stood watch, eyes trained mostly on the city they were not far from. Rexxentrum. The city where he would finally have his revenge, where he would finally end Trent Ikathon once and for all. 

“You alright there, Caleb?” A gentle voice called out. Caduceus, who had been keeping watch with him, walked over to him slowly. 

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve been tapping on your leg for an hour. I was worried you have been getting bit by some bugs.”

“I am fine, Caduceus, thank you. Just some nerves.” He looked over at the furbolg, gave a nod and a slight smile before training his eyes back onto the city ahead of them.

“The city making you nervous? Wasn’t it your idea to come here to begin with?” 

Caleb didn’t answer for a moment. He stopped tapping on his leg, eyes flickering down to his lap where his bandaged covered arms were. 

“Not the city. Just the people inside it and what will happen… after.”

“After what?” 

Caleb remained silent, lips pushed together. He hadn’t even told Nott of his plans yet. He couldn’t involve her, not anymore than she already was. He couldn’t involve any of them. He couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk them. He needed them to stay safe, to stay away enough for him to do what needed to be done. And if he should fall after it all, then at least it wouldn’t go back to them. They needn’t be dragged into this more than they already were. 

“Now, I don’t know much. But I do know the look of someone who’s about to do something very foolish. And right now you’re wearing that look.”

“It may be foolish, but it must be done. It is a safety measure.”

“Who’s safety?” 

Damn him. Damn Caduceus and his ability to make anyone nearby feel so safe to talk about anything so freely. It was dangerous. Caleb couldn’t afford this. 

“Your safety. The safety of the others.” He gestured towards their companions who all slept silently around them. “For the safety of young wizards.” 

“Foolishness in the name of good is still foolishness, Caleb.” The tone in which he said it made Caleb feel so insignificant and so angry. 

“You do not understand. If I do not do this and he finds us… he will use you to break me. I cannot allow this to happen. I must do this. And I must do this alone.” His voice was shaky in his throat but he was firm. “I don’t know much about fates or legacies but I know that is mine.”

“Legacy. And what is a legacy?” The furbolg had moved much closer now, sitting almost directly in front of him. “It’s the after. It’s what we all leave behind. When you all first found me all that time ago, you were mourning the loss of your friend. You all talked of carrying on his legacy to do good deeds.” Caleb had fallen silent in this moment, the guilt of Mollymauk’s death forever heavy in his heart, as with his parents. “You all are his legacy. You are what he left behind. And if you do this, these people here will be your legacy.  _ We _ are your legacy. We are a team now, yeah? The Meighty Nein. These people here all care a great deal about you, whether you like it or not. And that care, that  _ love _ , is what you will leave behind. Do you really want your legacy to be how you left them all to deal with something alone, when up to this point everything has been done together?”

“You wanna know what I want?” Caleb asked, his throat hoarse as he choked back tears. “I want Beau to destroy every system she can with her bare hands. I want Fjord to become the most powerful magic user in the empire. I want Jester to be able to return home to Necdranes, to be with her mother happily. I want Yasha not to fear having friends anymore. I want Nott… Veth… to find peace, to find love. But most of all… I want to right the wrongs I made. I want to fix the evils I’ve done. I want to rid the world of Trent Ikathon. I want-” He stopped, tears streaming down his face. “I want to find peace in death after I let this world be free of his evil grasp.” 

“You still don’t get it. You do this, and you risk none of that coming true. They need you, Caleb. They need your help to get to these places. And you can’t help them if you’re dead. Even if you kill this Trent, who’s to say there isn’t someone even worse somewhere else. And what if you fail? What if he kills you before you get a chance to kill him?”

“Then it doesn’t matter anyways. I’d rather die trying than live knowing he’s still out there. And this way I can protect you.” 

“You can't protect us if you're dead, Caleb. Who's to say he won't kill you and then come after us. We are the Meighty Nein. We're in this together.”

“No!” Caleb exclaimed a little too loudly. His wife eyes looked to his companions to see if anyone had stirred. By some miracle, no one had. “Listen to me: after Mollymauk died I vowed to myself I would never let any more of you die. I made a promise to myself that day I stood over Molly's corpse that as long as I breathed, I would never let death take any of you.”

“That's a big promise, Caleb. One that was doomed from the start. Everyone dies eventually, my friend. This is the one thing you cannot prevent. Death is inevitable. But from death, there can be life. When you were in that jail cell, Bren died so that Caleb could live. You were born from the anguish that Bren endured. You are Caleb Widogast, and you shall vanquish Trent Ikathon. And you shall do it amongst your friends.”

Caleb didn’t answer, merely wiped his face, which smeared the dirt on his face with the tears that had fallen. He stared down at his open palms and the bandages that wrapped around them and his forearms. 

“I started this journey on my own. Why should I not end it the same way?”

“Because there's power in numbers. Trent won't be by himself in that tower. Why should you be?”

Caleb had no answer. He stayed silent until his watch ended. Beauregard and Jester were taking the next one. He looked at them as he made his way to his place of slumber. Jester, who was so bright and beautiful. And Beauregard who was a fierce warrior, and a loyal friend for not explaining all of his secrets to the rest of the group. He looked down at Nott beside him, finding bright yellow eyes looking back at him. 

“I'm with you, Caleb. I always have been. And I always will be,” she said softly, reaching out to hold his hand. 

Caleb leaned down, pressing his lips to her forehead affectionately. Nott, his oldest and closest friend. Of course she would be with him. And that was the final straw for him that he would let the others accompany him. He couldn't  do this without them, not after everything they had been through. 

_ I won't let anything happen to you.  _ He thought to himself as he pulled Nott close to him. He meant it for the whole group, but especially Nott. If all else failed, he would protect her at all costs. 

“We get out of this, we find out how to turn you back, ja?” 

“I'd like that. Thank you, Caleb.” 

“No. Thank  _ you _ , Veth.”

The name made her stop for a moment, before smiling and wrapping her arms around him. He smiled back, protectively wrapping his own arms around her. 

He looked up at the night sky, the stars seeming to dance before him as he finally drifted off to sleep. 


End file.
